What Are Our Obligations To Parents?

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The Obligation of the Child to the Living Parents

As a child, we have obligations that we must do to them, both the deceased and the living. What are the obligations? The following are some of our obligations to both parents, among others:

1. Obey Parents

Obeying both parents is obligatory for every Muslim, disobeying both is an act that is forbidden, unless they tell them to associate partners with Allah (to commit shirk) or to disobey Him.

Allah says: "If one of them / both until old age in your care, then do not say to them with the word "Ugh", and do not shout at them, and say to them noble words. And lower yourself to them both with love and say "O my Lord, have mercy on them both, as they both taught me in childhood". [Qs. Al Israa' : 23-24]

Saying the word "Ugh" to parents is not allowed by religion, let alone saying words or treating them more rudely than that.

The example of a child's obedience to his parents can be realized in the form of :

If the parents ask for food then the child must feed.
If the parents need to be served then the child must serve.
If the parents need clothes then the child must buy them.
If the child is called then it must come immediately.
Any order of origin is not a sin then it must be carried out.

2. Devotion And Humility In Front Of Both Parents

God said, meaning, "If one of them / both until old age in your care, then you should never say to them with the word" ah ", and do not shout them, and speak to them noble words. And lower yourself to them both with love and say "O my Lord, have mercy on them both, as they both taught me in childhood". [Surat al-Israa' : 23-24]

The Messenger of Allah said, "It is a loss, a loss, and a loss to the person who gets his parents who are rented or one of them then it can not enter him in paradise." (HR. Muslim)

Other forms as a statement of a devoted and humble child to his parents are:

Do not call parents by name.
When walking should not precede the elderly (if walking together).
The child must be pleased with something that happened / that happened to him.

Something that makes us happy tells parents to be happy, but if something makes us sad do not tell parents.

3. Speak Gently

Communicate with parents in a good way, among others is by speaking gently to both. Tawadlu (humility) to both is obligatory for the child.

4. Providing Food

This also includes a form of devotion to both parents, especially if it is the result of their hard work. Especially if both conditions are already rented. as it should be, they are provided with the best food and drink and are more important to both of them than him, his son, and his wife.

5. Ask Permission Before Jihad And Go For Other Matters

Permission to parents is required for unspecified jihad. A man came to Rasulullah and asked, "O Rasulullah can I join the jihad?" He asked again, "Do you still have both parents?" The man replied, "Still". He said, "Jihad (in a devotional way) to both." [HR. Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

6. Give Alimony

Some verses in the Qur'an that discuss this matter are Al Baqarah verse 15 and Ar-Rum verse 38. The Prophet once said to a man when he said, "My father wants to take my property". The Prophet said, "You and your property belong to your father." [Narrated by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, and Ibn Majah].

Therefore, one should not be stingy (stingy) towards the person who caused his existence, take care of him as a child, and have done well to him.

7. Make Both Pleased By Doing Good To Those He Loves

One should make both parents happy by doing good to the people they love. That is by glorifying them, connecting the cords of friendship with them, fulfilling the promises (parents) to them, and so on.

8. Fulfilling The Bath / Vows Of Both Parents

If both parents swear on a certain matter in which there is no act of immorality, then a child must fulfill the oath of both because it includes their rights.

9. Do Not Blaspheme And Maintain The Honor Of The Parents

Prophet Muhammad PBUH has said, "Including the great sin is a person cursing his parents." The companions asked, "O Messenger of Allah, is there anyone who insults his parents?" He replied, “There is. He cursed other people's fathers and then the person retaliated by cursing his parents. He cursed other people's mother and that person retaliated by cursing his mother. " [Narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Sometimes the act is not felt by a child and is done jokingly even though this is an act of great sin. What is meant by maintaining the honor of parents is to maintain the honor and dignity of parents in the social environment in the community. This is the child's obligation to his parents, either when dealing with his parents or in daily interactions with his friends.

10. Putting Devotion To The Mother Rather Than The Father

A man once asked the Prophet, "Who is most entitled to get good treatment from me?" he replied, "Your mother." The man asked again, "Then who else?" He replied again, "Your mother". The man asked again, "Then who else?" He replied, "Your mother". Then who else? He asked. "Your father," he replied. [HR. Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

The above hadith does not mean more obedience to the mother than to the father. Because obeying the father is more important if both command at the same time and in the case that is allowed by the Shari'ah. The reason is that the mother herself is obliged to obey her husband.

The meaning of 'prioritizing doing good to the mother' in the hadith is to be more subtle and gentle to the mother than the father. Some Salaf scholars say, "The rights of the father are greater and the rights of the mother should be fulfilled."

11. Praying

Allah has says in the Qur'an surah Al-Israa ' : 24 as follows:

وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

Meaning:

"And lower yourself to them both with love and say "O my Lord, have mercy on them both, as they both taught me when I was a child".

12. Treat

Allah has says in the Qur'an surah Al-Israa ' : 23 as follows:

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا

Meaning:

"And your Lord has commanded that you should not worship other than Him and should (you serve) both parents with perfect devotion. If one of them or both of them reach old age in your care, then you should never say to them the word "ah", and do not scold them and speak to them with noble words. "

The Obligation of Children to Parents Who Have Died

There is a dialogue in the time of the Prophet. A friend met Rasulullah and expressed his regret that while his parents were still alive he did not have time to do good to his parents. He now regrets feeling close to him to do good to his parents. Hearing the complaint, Rasulullah stated that doing good to both parents is of two kinds, namely when they are alive and when they have died. The obligations of the deceased child are:

1. Caring for his body and praying a lot for both, because this is a child's devotion to both parents. Burying the remains of Muslims should be expedited, should not be delayed. Maybe we can postpone it for a short time.

2. Do "Istigfar" (asking for forgiveness from Allah Ta'ala) for both of them, because they are the most important people to pray for Allah Ta'ala to forgive their sins and accept their good deeds.

3. Fulfill promises and wills, both parents who have not fulfilled during their life following the Shari'ah, and continue the good deeds they have done during their lives. Because the reward will continue to flow to both of them when the good deeds are extended.

4. Honor friends or close friends of both parents. Rasulullah, "Indeed, the best child devotion is a child who connects the cord of friendship with the family of his father's friend after his father died". [Narrated By Muslim]

5. Connecting the bond of friendship with the relatives of Mother and Father. Rasulullah said, "Whoever wants to continue the friendship of his father who is in his grave, then connect the bond of friendship with his father's brothers after he dies". [Narrated by Ibn Hibban]

6. Pray for both parents. In a hadith, the Prophet said that in fact when a servant dies then all his deeds are cut off except:

Useful knowledge
Charity
Pious children who pray for both

The meaning of child in this hadith is not only a biological child, but also a stepchild, adopted child, or a Muslim child. So for those who do not have children, do not worry. For the child to pray for his parents both when he is alive and dead, then of course the parents must fulfill their obligations as parents. When we pray, are we not taught to pray for ourselves, our parents, and the Muslims.

7. Pay off both debts. Debt is one of the things that must be paid off when we can pay. Cannot be delayed. Therefore, if we know our parents leave the debt immediately we will pay it off if we can afford it.

May we always be dutiful children to both parents, especially after reading daqn understand the article about what our obligations to parents as in the article above.

Source: https://tabloittdesa.wordpress.com/

Reference: [1] Shihab, M. Quraish, TAFSIR AL-MISBAH: Messages, Effects, and Compatibility of the Qur'an. Jakarta: Lentera Hati. 2002