The Obligation of the Child to His Parents
God's Word on the Rights and Obligations of the Child to the Parents - Having a child is a dream for every couple. Therefore, how happy they are if Allah Almighty. really gives His grace in the form of a child. Hope and prayer also continue to be raised so that the child who has been born becomes a pious and pious child. So what are the children's obligations to their parents according to Islam?
In the book "Al-Fiqh Al Manhaji Ala Madzhab Al Imam Al Syafii" by Mustafa al-Khan, Mustafa al-Bagha, and Ali al-Syarbiji it is explained that there are two obligations of children to their parents, according to Islam.
First, be obedient and do good to your parents in all things except disobedience. This is based on the words of Allah Almighty.
Allah says in the Qur'an surah Al Isra : 23 as follows:
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا
"Va kaadea raabbuka allea taa’budoo illea iyyeahu va bil vealidayni ihseanea(ihseanan), immea yablugaanna indakal kibara ahaaduhumea av kilea humea fa lea takul lahumea uffin va lea tanhar humea va kul lahumea kaavlan kareemea(kareeman)."
Meaning:
"And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour." [QS.Al Isra :23]
Allah says in the Qur'an surah Luqman : 15 as follows:
وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلى أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا وَاتَّبِعْ سَبِيلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَيَّ ثُمَّ إِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ
"Va in ceahadeaka aalea an tushrika bee mea laysa laka bihee ilmun fa lea tutı’humea va seahibhumea feed dunyea maagroofan vattabi’ sabeela man aneaba ilayy(ilayya), summa ilayya marciukum fa unabbiukum bi mea kuntum taa’maloon(taa’maloona)."
Meaning:
"But if they pressure you to associate with Me what you have no knowledge of,1 do not obey them. Still keep their company in this world courteously, and follow the way of those who turn to Me ˹in devotion˺. Then to Me you will ˹all˺ return, and then I will inform you of what you used to do."
Second, provide maintenance to the parents, if they are in a state of poverty or poverty, while the child is in a state of affordability. This is based on the hadith of the Prophet PBUH, as follows.
عَنْ عُمَارَةَ بْنِ عُمَيْرٍ عَنْ عَمَّتِهِ أَنَّهَا سَأَلَتْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا فِي حِجْرِي يَتِيمٌ أَفَآكُلُ مِنْ مَالِهِ ؟ فَقَالَتْ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم: إِنَّ مِنْ أَطْيَبِ مَا أَكَلَ الرَّجُلُ مِنْ كَسْبِهِ وَوَلَدُهُ مِنْ كَسْبِهِ
From Umarah bin Umair from his aunt that he (his aunt) asked Aisyah ra "My foster child is an orphan, can I eat from his property? "A'ishah replied:" Rasulullah PBUH. said: Indeed, among the wealth that a person eats is the result of his work and the work of his son. "[Narrated by Abu Daud]
عَنْ عَمْرِو بْنِ شُعَيْبٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ جَدِّهِ، أَنَّ رَجُلاً أَتَى النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم، فَقَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، إِنَّ لِي مَالاً وَوَلَدًا، وَإِنَّ وَالِدِي يَحْتَاجُ مَالِي .قَالَ: أَنْتَ وَمَالُكَ لِوَالِدِكَ، إِنَّ أَوْلاَدَكُمْ مِنْ أَطْيَبِ كَسْبِكُمْ، فَكُلُوا مِنْ كَسْبِ أَوْلاَدِكُمْ.
Verse 14
"Allah commands people to be devoted to their parents, especially to the mother who is pregnant. This verse does not mention the services of the Father but emphasizes the services of the Mother. This is because the mother has the potential to be ignored by the child due to the weakness of the mother, unlike the father. On the other hand, the "role of the father" in the context of the birth of a child, is lighter than the role of the mother."
However, the role is not as big as the role of the mother in the process of childbirth, but her services are not neglected because the child is obliged to pray for his father, as praying for his mother. Because of Mother's great service, in a hadith, it is stated that: A friend asked, "O Messenger of Allah, who is most entitled to receive my service and friendship?" The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) replied, "Your mothers, your mothers, then your father and then those who are closer to you and those who are closer to you." [Mutafaq'alaih].
Because of that, every child must be aware of the struggles and hardships of their parents. In addition to being obedient to the teachings of religion, devoted to both parents, should also work hard to learn and pursue knowledge, especially religious sciences, so that together with their parents gain prosperity in this world and happiness in the hereafter.
In other surahs it is mentioned such as surah al-Baqarah : 83, an-Nisa : 36, al-An'am: 151, and al-Isra ': 23 discussing the need to serve the parents. While Surah Luqman conveys a message to bless the parents in the form of God's command.
Surah Luqman verse 14
"And We commanded man (to do good) to his two parents; his mother had conceived him in a state of increasing weakness and weaned him in two years [1180]. Be grateful to Me and to both parents of your parents, only to Kulah you return."
Therefore Allah says:
"And We command man to be devout and obedient to his parents, fulfilling their rights."
The mother was pregnant with him, while he was in a weak condition which was increasing due to the growing of the contents until he gave birth, then until the end of the time of childbirth.
The word وَهْنًا means weakness or fragility. What is meant here is the lack of ability to bear the burden of pregnancy, breastfeeding, and child-rearing. The word used in this verse indicates how weak the mother is until she is described as the weakness itself, that is, everything related to the weakness has merged in her and she bears it.
His word وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ (and its nourishment in two years), hints at the importance of breastfeeding a biological mother. The purpose of this breastfeeding is not only to maintain the survival of the child but also to grow and develop the child in excellent physical and psychological condition.
Then Allah explains His message through the following words:
أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ
And We commanded him, be grateful to Me for all the favors I have bestowed on you, and be grateful to your parents. Because in fact, both are the cause of your existence. And both have taken good care of you until you become upright and strong.
إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ
Only to your return, not to other than Me. Then I will repay you for what you have done that is contrary to Me.
The above verse states: and we bequeathed that is a very strong message to all human beings concerning their parents, our message is due to the fact that his mother was pregnant in a state of weakness over weakness, that is, multiple weaknesses and from time to time increased. Then she gave birth with difficulty, then cared for and breastfed him at all times, even in the middle of the night when other human beings fell asleep soundly.
That is until it is time to wean it. At the time of birth, the mother is more potential or more extra than a father and that is not enough only at the time of the birth of a child, but until the child grows and develops. Indeed, the father is also responsible for preparing and helping so that the burden he carries is not too heavy. However, the father's service can not be ignored just because the child is also obliged to pray for his father.
Verse 15
The above verse states that if the parents force you to associate with God, then do not obey him. Every command for an act of immorality, then can not be obeyed. However, do not break the relationship with sitalurahim by still respecting him as a parent. Be devoted to them as long as they do not deviate from the teachings of Religion and associate with them regarding the world, not Aqedah.
In surah Al-Ankabut: 8, it means: “And we obligate man (to do) good to his two parents. and if they force you to associate me with something you do not know, then do not follow them. Only to Me will you return, then I will tell you what you have done. ”
This law applies to the entire Ummah of the Prophet Muhammad, which prohibits the obedience of children to follow the wishes of their parents which is contrary to the teachings of religion.
And also as in a narration that Asma 'Princess Sayyidina Abu Bakr ra. Once visited by his mother who was still a polytheist at the time, Asma 'asked the Prophet how he should behave, so the Prophet saw ordered him to maintain a good relationship, receive and give him gifts, and visit and welcome his visit.
Asbabun Nuzul
Al-Hafizh Ibn Katsir said in his Tafsir, from Sa'ad bin Abi Waqqash ra. He said: I am a man who loves my mother very much. But after I converted to Islam, my mother said to me: Hai sa'ad! What religion is this, I see you fabricate. Leave your religion or I will strike and eat and drink, until I die. That way you will be tainted because of me, that is, you will be accused of being his mother's killer. That's how I said to my mother: Hi Mom! Do not do all that, but I will not leave my religion forever for any reason.
Istinbat Law Explains
The above verse about Luqman, a pious servant of Allah, so that his name is immortalized as the name of one of the letters of the Qur'an.
From the series of verses above we can reveal the content as follows:
- Grateful to God.
- Obligation of Parents to Educate Children, Especially Educated Aqeedah.
- Obligatory to do good to parents, as an expression of gratitude to children to parents in addition to God.
- Children do not need to obey parents' orders to things that are not true or associating with God.
- Children must still respect, love, and associate with their parents well despite differences in religion.
The Right of Children to Parents
According to Wahbah al-Zuhaili, there are five kinds of rights of children to their parents, namely: the right of lineage (offspring), the right of rada '(breastfeeding), the right of "hadanah" (maintenance), the right of "walayah" (guardian), and the right "nafaqah" (food). With the fulfillment of these five needs, parents will be able to deliver their children in a state that is ready to be independent.
The birth of a child is a legal event with a child officially becoming a family member through lineage, he is entitled to various rights and inherit his father and mother. With the lineage relationship, there is a series of children's rights that must be fulfilled by the parents and with the lineage, the parents' rights to their children are guaranteed.
The Rada 'right is the right of the child to breastfeed, the mother is responsible before God to breastfeed her child when she is a baby until she is two years old, whether she is still in the marriage bond with the baby's father or already divorced.
Hadanah is the task of caring for, nurturing, and educating a baby/child who is still young from birth until he is able to take care of and organize himself. Walayah in addition to meaning the right of guardianship in marriage also means the self-care of the child after the end of the period of hadanah until he is mature and sensible, or until marriage and guardianship of the child's property.
Alimony is the financing of all the above needs based on lineage. Rights and responsibilities are two inseparable, children have rights from their parents, and parents are responsible for their children. If classified children can be categorized into four major groups, namely the right to life, the right to grow and develop, the right to protection, and the right to participate.
That is an article about The Obligation of the Child to His Parents. I hope this article will be useful to you.
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